I woke up the other day and had my tea and bread. It was quite delicious. Naturally, I go to my computer to read up on all of the news of the day. I see a post that seemed kind of odd. It read something like, “Amanda Bynes Retires.” After much investigation I go to her Twitter page where she originally posted about her “retirement.” They are as follows:

I’ve never written the movies & tv shows I’ve been apart of I’ve only acted like the characters the producers or directors wanted me to play

Being an actress isn’t as fun as it may seem

If I don’t love something anymore I stop doing it

I don’t love acting anymore so I’ve stopped doing it

I know 24 is a young age to retire but you heard it here first I’ve #retired

For all I know, it could be a Joaquin Phoenix-type joke, but if it’s real, then eff you Amanda Bynes. Do you know how many people would kill to be in your position? You make decent films, starred in your television show, and yet you still complain. Sure you don’t make Academy Award type films, but what did you expect from doing “The Amanda Show” all those years ago? If you didn’t like the films you were doing, it was you that accepted the roles!

Like I said before, do you know how many people would kill to be a successful actor these days? Myself included. There are millions that flock to Hollywood every year for a chance at something. Not even a big budget film, but even a small indie. Yet you Amanda, have taken advantage of that and spit in the face of everyone that is struggling trying to “get in” to the business.

How about you swallow your pride, and make some changes if you don’t like what you’re doing? No one is going to change to suit YOUR needs. I’ll give you the perfect example of someone that changed for the better. Ellen Page did her widely successful film, and one that I hated, “Juno” where she played an underage pregnant teen and used phrases like “honest to blog.” I know for a fact that she didn’t want to be typecast as a quirky-overlyintelligent-teen actress, as many have. Yet, she made changes and boom, she’s starring in Christopher Nolan’s Inception along side Leonardo DiCaprio and Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard later this summer. She didn’t quit or take for granted the massive opportunity that she has and in fact, I respect her even more as an actress. I would say that her career is one that should be modeled after. She grew up, something that you, Amanda, have yet to do.

Those of us small people that try so hard to get a role know how hard it is to be an actor, and even harder to get a small role in anything so don’t pull that shit. You have been handed everything on a silver platter since you were little and yet you still complain.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, Amanda Bynes, SCREW YOU!

P.S. I still think you’re ridiculously hot so please go into modeling, at least.

Don’t forget the Popcorn

• Personal