Dear Dudes,
We all have wants and needs. However, there are ways to get what you want that do not require lying, cheating or manipulating the feelings of those around you. Let me be clear: we all lie (myself included), but today it is all about the fellas. So as I was saying – constantly making premeditated decisions to get what you want in the short run, basing your actions on your own self-interest and apologizing only if you stand to benefit in the long run is beyond appalling. Maybe lying and manipulating can get you laid what you want in the present, but honesty will save everyone some emotional stress in the long term.
So why do you act the way you do?! Why are you sending me “hey gorgeous, I’ve been thinking about you…” texts when you live with your girlfriend and say you are love with her? Why do you choose to get involved with a girl that is legit crazy? I truly cannot see the motivation behind feigning interest/attraction to get what you want when honesty can yield the same results (and is less complicated).
Fact: people get angry when they are led on under false pretenses and then have the rug pulled out from under them.
Yeah, I know you think girls go batshit crazy when they get angry (see Flavor of Love seasons 1 and 2) or that they won’t sleep with you if you tell them you just want a one night stand (hit or miss but telling me what you think is sexy) so you justify lying to them but rarely is it about the lie itself. It is your inability to be upfront that pisses girls off. You want to avoid the emotional stress, bitching, and hysterics? Don’t lie to yourself or the person you are seeing. I can promise you, no girl wants to be in a relationship with a guy who is gettin’ some on the side or deal with a dude who is not as emotionally invested as they are (and at some point, they will appreciate your honesty). Tell the truth from the moment you meet someone and you can avoid all of this shit before it even happens. If you just want to have sex and keep it casual, say so and if you no longer want to talk to someone, you need to tell them that. Real talk. Be honest with people you date and demand the same in return.
Sincerely,
Blanche
Author: Blanche DuBois
Comments
I don't discourage lying.
I just think men lie b/c they haven't figured out HOW to tell the truth WELL. Often with women it's not what you say, but how you say it and many men just don't know how to do that. So, instead … we lie.
I know how to tell the truth well. I might not pull it off all the time, but it's great when I do and can fuck a girl with her knowing full well that I'm also fucking other girls.
Ahh… The infamous catch22 of honesty. If "we all lie", then how can we know that being up front is truly the most respectful means to an end. Communication is tantamount to mutual gratification. But much as love doesn't necessarily conquer all, simply being honest will not always avoid "pissing her off".
Takes two to tango, or whatever name you wish to give it, hopefully the dudettes can appreciate the gravity of what honesty means.
Although I can't speak for most girls, if a dude is honest and tells me that he is fucking multiple chicks from the get go, I have no one to blame but myself if I decide to sleep with him and things get hectic. Ultimately, I appreciate his honesty because I know what I'm getting into from the start.
I completely agree with you, I would be very happy if the guys around me can learn how to tell the truth the right way.