I read a magazine article that said guys like to enforce the ‘scarcity rule’ when trying to date a girl. I don’t remember where I read this (maybe Cosmo?), but it was disturbing to read that this advice was still being dispensed. It’s not brand new information or anything. I’ve known about the three-day rule. I did see Swingers, after all. But the article said , “girls like guys who are busy and are hard to get a hold of”. We do?! Sure, we don’t want a sloth who sits at home for hours on end, eating Doritos and scratching himself, but we also don’t want a guy who’s so ‘busy’ that he can only squeeze us in two Thursdays from next Saturday.
We’re busy too, buddy.
Maybe more competitive girls like this in a guy. But due to my sheer laziness, it’s not really my desire to follow some guy around trying to get a hold of him. If you want to do something but already have plans, let’s reschedule. If you have to check your schedule before rescheduling, ok, fair enough. But am I to wait to see if there is a possible availability three weeks down the road? I’m not making a dental appointment. I may have forgotten who you are by then!
I get it, I do. No one wants to seem too the eager beaver. However, if you’re going to continue to talk to me and yet, make no plan, I will inevitably make other plans. Without you. Indefinitely. Again, I can take it if you’re just not that into me.
But the killer is when your guy of the moment is enforcing his scarcity rule and you decide to go ahead and follow it. Because then he gets upset that you did something without him. Let me get this straight. You couldn’t make time for me. Yet somehow, now you’re mad because you think I’m not interested anymore, because I’ve chosen to go out with my friends versus sitting at home, checking my phone every five minutes in case you became available?!? If it makes you feel better, I can check my phone just as easily while at the bar.
Guys, please don’t enforce your scarcity rule as a tactic to get girls. You don’t have to call us all day every day. You don’t have to always be available or always have a plan. But if you like us, act like it. Because while you’re doing your own thing, acting scarce. We’re doing our own thing, acting available. And you don’t seem to like that very much.
Pick a side.
Author: Courtney Hartmann
