For the past two weeks I have been trying to get in touch with my artistic side. This meant buying a bunch of canvases, stealing my brother’s acrylics and trying my hand at the world of painting. The results were varied. In the end, I had four paintings that I was pretty damn proud of. I was left however, with five or six shit ones. They were really shit. They couldn’t be hung up. They took up space, so I thought, what could I do with these paintings?

I decided that I would force my shit art upon unsuspecting victims, because I thought that it would amuse me. And it did. Arguably the worst out of them all is this one:

This was an attempt at an African tribal shield, but ended up looking like, “A pussy with shit coming out of it”, as my brother put it. This picture was my first art attack. I wrote this on the back of it:

Incase you can’t read that it says: “Louise, It was hard parting with this but I immediately thought of your red sofa in the kitchen! I hope you hang this up, Jamie”. The idea was simple. I would give it to my sister, who is very proud of her house and concerned with how nice it looks, under the impression that I was in love with this painting. She would have to hang it up to avoid hurting my feelings. The plan is to tell her that it was a joke in a year or two.

The next painting was a tribute to the Virgin Mary.

I actually liked this but I was assured that it was terrible. So I sent it to the pope. The address I wrote on it was, “The Pope, Vatican city, Rome, Italy”. I hope it reaches him.

Next was a lovely little Spanish village scene. It ended up looking like a three year old did it.

I especially like the multicoloured cats in this one. I sent this to a famous radio Dj and television presenter here in Ireland. I started his inscription in permanent marker only to realise that it was showing through, so the note reads like this:

To (Woops) Gerry, love Jamie-21 years old.

I tried to paint a tree but it went wrong. So I put colour upon colour over it until it ended up purple.

There was another one but I left in on the train. It is true though, you can have fun with art.

• The Medium