Do you ever get impossibly dumb questions? Questions that even mentally-handicapped people would never venture to ask because they are in fact smarter than that and know better? I’m talking about a question that makes you slap your head in anger and possibly stab your eye in a WTF manner?

Well the other day at work I had such an event. I take that back. I get the same question everyday at work that makes me want to shit in a pillow case then slap them with it.

It’s as if the second people walk into a restaurant or a retail location they shut off their brains and don’t know how to function like a living, coherent, and educated human being. Let me explain this a bit more with some examples of their conditional stupidity:

People fail to flush the toilet if they so happen to even make their defecated feces into said toilet. They are unable to throw away trash properly. When asked where they would like to sit and if they are ok with a particular seating arrangement because another option is not open they proceed to say “ok,” only to then complain profusely to a manager that they are being discriminated and that the other option was never given to them. People think it’s a made up law that we need to see I.D. to purchase alcohol and insist they do it all the time at other locations.

So those are just some quick simple examples of the stupidity. Where I was originally going with this was a question I get asked everyday.

The question that I’m asked everyday is a response to the question I ask: “Would you like to sit inside or outside on our patio?” I then hear these exact words every time, and keep in mind that these people have just walked into my building from outside. “What is the weather like outside?”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Did you not just come from outside? I’ve been indoors all day and you are asking me if the weather is nice out?

I bet I could proceed to sell these people a bowl of their own shit and they would trust in my opinion on whether it is good or not.

Seriously people, let’s try to use some common sense and act like we have a brain from now on when you go out into society and are required to interact with people. It’s a wonder how many of you have managed to survive life since the days that your father stopped wiping your ass for you and you quit suckling from your mother’s teat.