1. Do not, under no circumstances, try to hit on a girl at the gym. Gym time is private time. We’re sweaty, out of breath, thinking of only two things, neither of which is how much we want to give you our number or talk about rather or not we come here often.

2. This is a personal NON-favorite of mine. For the love of all that is good in the world, do not try to hit on a girl while driving. You look like an idiot trying to yell pick up lines through traffic. If upon noticing your moronic ways we turn up the music as if all the sudden we are nearly deaf, we’re not interested. If staring straight away as if our life depended on not making eye contact with you in the least bit we’re again not interested. This cold shoulder tactic does not mean try harder. Honking your horn only makes you look like even more of an asshole.

3. Why is it that when guys try to “spit” their “game” they all of a sudden lose ability to enunciate words?

Ex. “hey girl, let me get yo numba.”

I’d rather you not spit your game at me, we don’t appreciate being spat at.

4. If we are nice to you do not assume we want to fuck you. So leave the condoms in a place where they’re not visible.

5. It is not necessary to bring up lube in conversation. Period.

Alright gentleman there you have it, five simple things not to do. Now if these are too much and you insist on being absolutely hideous than please, at least, do not do number 2.