You ever walk into the bathroom, so eager to piss-that you storm in, with a conviction that silently screams determination?! I found myself doing that a second ago… work had just gotten busy, between my numerous instant messages, toggling between numerous excel spreadsheets, e-mail messages, database seeking, critical thinking, analyzing and incessant typing, my bladder begged for a break. “Not right now!” I told her. I was in no hurry to pee and the little walk over to the restroom not only exposes me to the large conference room with glass windows and every important partner and manager in there for their weekly Friday meetings but the executive assistant who I so quickly befriended and now must smile and say a few brief words of “hello, how are you, weekend plans?” who also sits so conveniently next to the door to the bathroom.
So I wait. I keep working. Patiently I continue to work despite my bladder again screaming for some well deserved mercy. Maybe it’s my type A-anal retentive nature, but I have to get some work done before I can take a break. No way around it!? Or I have to be at a natural stopping point. Finally, I am ready. I get up and walk with the type of speed and motion, my arms eagerly assisting my legs almost as I were speed walking for the Olympics. I make my way into the bathroom, which stall – oh shit, so many. Five to be precise but without anyone else nearby, how do I choose. I immediately walk towards the second one and BAM.. SHIT.. FUCKING STINKS. Who the fuck just took a dump?! I make an about face, as methodical and disciplined as a military drill, and make my way to the one next door.
As I’m peeing… I think – how funny that was. I wish someone saw the expression on my face when I encountered stinky toilet. It was somewhere between a grimace, disgust and laughter. Because how many times .. honestly now… have you been the person who left that stink, wishing you had some matches, leaving to wash your hands and look as if you are equally as disgusted when another co-worker walks in and catches hold of the aroma that is a big ass dump.
Oh toilet, how funny you are. 
