It was hard to write that title with a straight face. Anyone who’s actually stoked on getting older has either a death wish or an obscenely impressive sense of humor.
It’s October, which means that at the end of this month, I “celebrate” another year spent in existence.
“The day you were born was the happiest day of my life,” my mother always emotes.
To avoid crushing her with a sarcastic response yet again (“Yeah, thanks for conjuring me into this nightmare,” or similar), I slipped on some rose-colored lenses, drank out of a glass half-full, and turned my frown upside down. The result follows.
Getting older is great because…
- it gets easier to say no. This is mainly because when you’re younger, you still give a shit about what everyone thinks (even if you swear otherwise). You don’t want to disappoint anybody and have them think badly of you. The older you get, though, the more you realize that your own well-being comes first. The clichés about life being short begin to ring truer than ever, and it becomes imperative that you spend as much time as possible in the manner that befits you. In order to accomplish this, politeness sometimes goes out the window. (“Party’s over, get the fuck out of my house so I can sleep.”)
- body hang-ups become a thing of the past…for most of us, at least. “Flaws” that made you insecure as a teen are embraced as the little things that set you apart from everyone else. The more confident you become with who you are internally, the more you delight in who you are externally. The best plastic surgeon in the world can not accomplish that, but increased years on the age-o-meter can.
- sex gets better.
- you get clearer about what you want out of life.
- you realize it’s best to go at your own pace. There is no age limit on education. There is no rule saying you are a failure if you haven’t accomplished X amount of crap by the time you’re twenty-five.
- it’s fun to watch the younger generations stumble all over themselves trying to get it right. It’s also fun to laugh at the bizarre styles and fads they adopt, knowing that’s how you must have looked to your elders.
- if you don’t fulfill your own dreams, you can impose them on your children and live vicariously through them. (Just kidding.)
- once your own glass is full, you can begin helping to fill the glasses of others. It truly can feel better to give than to receive, but as you age, you realize you are best equipped to accomplish this when you have first achieved some stability of your own.
- you get a sexy twinkle in your eye. Others are intrigued because they think you know something that they don’t. You probably do.
- you accept that what works for some might not work for you. Whether you want to have zero or ten babies, it’s no one else’s business, and vice versa. Lifetime of marriage or forever a freedom fighter? Your choice as an individual, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone.
- nothing is worse than being a teenager.
- you realize that holding grudges against others only hurts you. Few things are more freeing than making peace with the past…and having enough distance from it to be able to do so.
- it gets easier and easier to laugh at yourself and take life a little less seriously.
- you discover that the secret to life is to keep moving – mentally and physically.
- you eventually concede that it’s true: making your bed in the morning really does make it more pleasurable to get into at night.
- you realize that you will never know everything…if, in fact, you know anything at all to begin with…and are okay with that.
- once you make it past a certain age, you get discounts on everything, from dinner to movies to hotel rooms. It’s your reward for surviving…and your pity prize for losing all your hair, teeth, and dignity.
Please add your own as comments.
Author: Britt Warner
