The traffic was normal. I was on the 5 North on my way to a terribly, underwhelming errand. There was a white BMW in front of me. I’m driving along, VROOOOOOOM! And then it happened, I saw a skinny man hand reach out of his car window to expel trash. Yes! It was so casual that I thought for a second that maybe I was missing something from this picture, but no, he was just an evil freeway hog. What audacity one must have to think it’s ok to throw their own waste onto a public road and to do it with no shame. Evil turd.

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So the day must go on. I’m at Ralph’s and about to hand the woman at the register my old membership card, again. “Oh, oops! Sorry, that’s my old card, I keep doing that!” She cracks a slight smile. I then shuffle through the number of “convenient” discount cards and hand over my entire key chain to get my $10.76 deducted from my total purchase. The woman scans my membership card, fishes through my keys and cards and finds the old card that has been a wart on my [insert something really dirty] since the new membership card came out. She then proceeded to rip my old card from my key chain with her bare heads, hand me my keys and flash an I-understand-your-annoyance kind of smile. How bold! Helpful! Nice! Good for sure! Listen, I could have been some freakazoid who wouldn’t want some checker to rip my property off of my key chain. Kudos to you Ms. Brave Check-out Lady!

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I walk to my car feeling hopeful that good is at least neck to neck with evil. A couple of the Mormons, who seem to stalk the homes of Lake Forest, walked up to me while I was putting my groceries in the car and offer to help me put my groceries into my car; generally, this would irritate me. Come on, if you are carrying a bible and then just happen to ask to help a bystander, I’m sure that God will come up at least once. I.E. “God helped me help you put your stew meat in your car.” Nonetheless, I was feeling the good and gave the baby-maker Mormons a chance. “You know, sure, that would be nice!” They each put a couple of grocery bags in my car, told me to have a nice day and went on their merry little ways.

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Yup, I was feeling the good. Screw the jack-hole who treated the freeway like a stinky, locker room! I decided to march my grocery cart all the way back to Ralph’s instead of squeezing it between 2 unsuspecting vehicles.

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