“So…how many people have you slept with?” In my opinion, when it comes to dating, very few questions are as loaded as this one (isn’t that why everyone tends to lie about it?) But how much does the response matter? If you’ve already slept with the person, the damage has been done (and you might want to think about how much of a slut you are). However, I found myself in an interesting situation the other night that got me thinking.

In my previous dating experiences, learning a guy’s number would spark one of two reactions: I want to sleep with you…now (higher than mine but within reason) or I don’t want to sleep with you for fear that you don’t know what you are doing (lower than mine or just too low for someone your age). Personally, a higher number piques my interest (obviously girls like you, you have to have some idea of what you are doing, I’m curious and I want to find out) and a low number will raise flags (you must have something wrong with you because girls don’t want to sleep with you) but last night’s situation was the first time I have come across a guy whose number was so astronomically high that my attraction to him immediately went out the window. I’ve had my fair share of sexual escapades (a girl has to get her’s too) and I don’t put as much weight on sex as my gender seems to think I should, but watching this guy proudly flaunt his sport fucking was disturbing (this is not a popularity contest, you really don’t need to brag).

If my attraction to a guy can change that drastically after learning his number, can a guy do the same after learning mine? Like most things when it comes to gender, I think a double standard exists. Too high and a guy will write you off as a slut, too low and he might think you put too much weight on sex. Maybe guys respect girls who exercise restraint more than their slutty counterparts or maybe he really doesn’t care about numbers at all but I have learned one thing: knowing a guy’s number before I sleep with him helps me weed out the assholes.

• Kiss & Tell