It’s time I divulged a dirty little secret. That’s right, I love a man, a man who takes me to pleasure town every single time he’s in my presence. I know, I know: you’re miffed I haven’t mentioned him before this, but…well…I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to make sure it was for real. I mean, I can’t introduce my trusting children to every mutt that wanders into my life, it’s just not fair. No, I suss things out and allow a man into my home and my family (that’s you, readers) when I know I can count on him, 100%.

That said, I want to talk to you about my passionate love for Zach Galifianakis. The first time I saw him was on a Comedy Central Presents Stand-up show about four years ago. He was a little paunchy, had a miraculously full beard, and delivered jokes while he played a piano like he was in the lobby of a Hyatt Hotel. As he gently tickled the ivories, he delivered this joke: My brother is schizophrenic. Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. Anyways, the other day he called me and my caller I.D. exploded. Needless to say, he caught my attention, but this lady doesn’t hand over her affections for just any schmoe with a modicum of musical stylings and healthy heaping of sass.

Since that time, however, Zach has been a busy boy. May I present you some of the reasons I’ve decided to declare myself a one-comedian woman.

First, he’s caught the attention of very talented musicians: Kanye West and Fiona Apple (also, two of my favorites):

Kanye West’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothin’”

Fiona Apple’s “Not About Love”

Second, he’s upped the ante on his staged skits. I’m a sucker for comedy that makes you concomitantly cringe and pee your pants with delight, which is why I love shows like The Office, Extras, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. When he interviews Michael Cera on his show called Between Two Ferns, the awkward magic bubble explodes into a hail storm of glittery uncomfortable goodness.

Last, but not least I have the distinct pleasure to introduce you to his contribution to my new obsession: Tim and Eric Awesome. He has some esteemed company in this project; do the names Tom Skerritt, Jeff Goldblum, John C. Reily ring a bell? His role as The Snuggler makes my side hurt: CLICK HERE to view a video that will change your life. And if you want even more of him, you can stalk him on his official website if you CLICK HERE.

Anyways, I hope you like your new Comedy Daddy, my sweet readers. Now…close the door on your way out, will you? I need a little alone time with Daddy…