You know the saying, ‘What you don’t know can’t hurt you’, exactly what is being referred to here? I can think of one way when this way of thinking could be beneficial: if you’ve sneezed in my food and thought about telling me after I’ve already eaten it, probably is better to keep that information to yourself. But in most other cases, I want to be in the know; especially, when it comes to potential relationships.

I definitely, without a doubt, want to know what you are feeling. Where I stand. If there’s a problem, I’m going to tell you. If I’m out the limb alone, yeah, want to know that too. I am a girl. This is what we do. We females (yes, I know there are exceptions) are all about projecting feelings.

True, I tend to go above and beyond that projection. However, for me, the alternative, keep your feelings hidden method leads to pent up emotions coming out in really horrible ways. Say when I’m drunk at a party and I give you a big ‘Fuck off,’ in front of all of our friends. This one incident caused enough of a scene to make me realize, holding in feelings, maybe not so much for me. You know what it was? I was trying to be a guy. I was trying to play things off. I didn’t save what I felt about a situation for the sober privacy of a conversation for two. Instead, I just sucked it up, attempted to get over it by my drunken self and all it did was backfire.

Trying to guess how a guy feels is annoying. Trying to guess how a guy feels when they’re not sure themselves, kill me now. This is where a woman’s caring, patient nature is supposed to set in. My caring, patient nature has an expiration date and it’s when I hear a guy say, I like you but. I don’t know, time will tell. I don’t want a girlfriend, but I don’t want you to be with anyone else. You know what I’m hearing? I am a selfish bastard. I am a selfish bastard. I am a selfish bastard.

How was I supposed to know that you didn’t want a girlfriend when you’re calling me every day? When we’re making plans for the weekend or you’re cooking me dinner? When we’re sleeping in the same bed? Is that some sort of Jedi mind trick to not make me interested in you relationship wise?

I think my desire for decisiveness gets confused with a desire to rush to the altar. If after all of that, you still aren’t sure if I’m girlfriend material, it’s better to know sooner than later. I didn’t propose marriage here. Just wanted to know if I’m wasting time with someone who still considers himself single.

If you don’t see me as your girlfriend or you don’t know what you want, a simple I do not want to be your boyfriend or I don’t want you (because that’s what you’re saying when you say you don’t know what you want) is sufficient.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s not a trick. If I was told either, not gonna lie, I probably would feel like I got slapped, maybe shed a pride lost tear, but if it wasn’t followed up by any further texts or phone calls, I would get the clear message and KNOW to keep it moving to someone else.

Girls aren’t something to be put on layaway, in case you decide you want us later. At least not this girl. I want what I want and I usually want it now, not some day in the maybe future. What I don’t know will hurt me. So just straight shoot it. My ego will recover. My heart will find love elsewhere. Sure, the truth hurts, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t want or need to hear it.

• Kiss & Tell