It’s as reliable as the arrival of my shipment of aged cheeses each month. It’s as salacious as the new girl who works the front desk at your country club. (You know who you are, you pinstriped -skirt wearing little minx.) It USED to be as taboo as the fetish-porn i used to have my housekeeper hide from my parents when I was a lad.
S & M??? That’s old News, Grandma… It’s 2010. Get into the speculum-fetish scene.
I’m talking about infidelity.
Not just the snoozefest exploits the likes of Tiger, Jesse, and Chuck Sheen. But all Hollywood actors. Known and unknown. (You KNOW the Lark Voorhis sex tape is just waiting for its turn in the limelight.)
Lisa…Down and dirty. How do you like your whore NOW, Screech?
As I await the daily earnings and loss statement from my brokers (JP Morgan? Smith Barney? No, No. Those slack-jaws aren’t fit to diversify my sock drawer, much less my portfolio. I have Jim Kramer personally place my stop-loss orders… then lick my balls) I watch the daily happs in the entertainment world. Its just more and more of the same each day.
So and so fucked some no name broad now they’re marriages are over.
Let me get this straight…
You mean to tell me that each one of these celebrity couples NEVER expected this to happen when they married their significant other? Philandering NEVER came into the minds of these people? Uh-Huh.
I once loved a girl. Joan Laugherty. She was my first true love. She was my on my prep school’s polo team with me. She had a backhand shot most of the boys would kill for. I thought we would be together forever. So of course I was crushed when I saw her teaching my best friend, Paul, her lead-pass technique…with their pants off. I didnt undrstand it. How could she do this to me? How did they get the horses to stay still? I felt lost and alone. But then it occurred to me. She was different somehow. She had a Scholarship. She was bussed into school. Understand? SHE WAS POOR!!! All the time, I wasn’t attracted to HER… I was attracted to “slumming it”!!!
The same holds true for the majority of these celebrity cheaters.
Jesse James. Cheats on Sandra with a self-proclaimed “tattoo model”. It is actually physically painful for me to see one of my own… an upper echelon lowering himself to ….
Michelle “bombshell” Macgee… one classy dame.
We all know Tiger’s loooong, list of penis ornaments. Among them… WAITRESSES!!! See, Even tiger isn’t above the temptation of a hood-rat.
Mindy Lawton…Luckiest bitch this side of the tee box
So when you wake up tomorrow and see your significant other there lying next to you… just. Ya know. Think about how long “Forever” is. Then just give me a call if you wanna hang. (Mark C 617-774-8510)
