1. A South Korean ship sinks in the waters bordering North Korea after an “unexplained” explosion. Pfft, “unexplained”? Can you call the red paint on a graffiti artist’s hand unexplained evidence of a tagging?

2. There is a lack of understanding in the West about the Middle East. This is akin to the brain’s lack of understanding about cholesterol intake. Heart attacks result from this.

3. The prison population will grow until you stop the growth.

4. Turn out the lights from 8:30 to 9:30 this evening to show your support for Earth Hour because energy conservation is right on so many levels … just like masturbation is good on so many levels. Have you considered masturbation during this evening’s Earth Hour?

5. Ann Coulter’s at it again. Tomorrow she’ll be at it again. The day after that she’ll be at it again. The cycle continues.

6. Sebastian Vettel is a Formula 1 racing driver who is kicking ass today, but probably not tomorrow.

7. Lewis Hamilton will beat Sebastian Vettel. Lewis Hamilton got his car impounded for doing a burnout Friday night. I hate how hard they are on innocent burnouts in Australia. This is almost as bad as confiscating one’s teeth for smiling.

8. Obama is trying to hide the fact that the U.S. favors Israel. Is Wylie Coyote trying to hide his penchant for Roadrunner meat?

9. UFC 111 - I wonder what percentage of males secretly get off by watching men rub against each other in the octagon? What percentage of females?

10. Sandra Bullock pregnant? Nah. Publicity stunt? Yah.

• Coffee Break