OH GOD WHY ARE JAPANESE GAME SHOWS SO FUCKING GOOD.

For years now, Japan has blessed us with the Play Station, durable cars, and weird porn. But there is one thing that Japan has given us that is greater than any of the above mentioned: Japanese Game Shows!!! I can proudly say that I love Japanese game shows, because they’re fantastic in every way imaginable.

The Challenges

These shows have the most amazing challenges. They don’t have stupid shit like “just eat this pig uterus.” They have real challenges like try to run across a river full of alligators while we launch fireworks out of your ass. Now that’s a show. I saw a show where the whole point of the game was to see who could hold their piss the longest. HELLO does it get any better than that…Oh yes it does. Another game show has a group of guys standing in a line and all they have to do is repeat a tongue twisting Japanese phrase. That doesn’t sound so bad…oh and did I forget to mention that if they mess up they have a swinging arm hit them in the balls. Now that’s a God Damn Game. Not only are the games amazing the competitors are so happy to just be on the show. It’s like they just won the lottery. And the contestants will do anything to win. If the shows host was like, “Lets see who can cut their penis off the fastest.” They’d all drop their pants and start chopping, and they’d do it with huge smiles on their face. Some of us have seen MXP on Spike T.V. which shows some of the great challenges like: Try To Climb The Hill Before The Boulder Kills You or Run Across The Jacked Up Pond With Fake Rock So You Can Eat Mad Shit.

The Prize

Now that they’ve done the challenge and won, what’s their prize…a car…a trip to an exotic place…cash…Nope it’s usually nothing…that’s right they get jack shit. They just do it for the hell of it. So us lazy Americans sit here and watch people on Fear Factor eat horse dick, and we all say I would never do that for $50,000. Well just know that a Japanese guy will not only eat the horse dick but he’d do it while peeing on his wife for nothing.

My top 3 favorite Japanese Game Shows:

1. The “Run Your Ass On A Treadmill While Trying To Jump Hurdles” Hosted by a Transsexual.

2. The “Repeat The Following Or Your Balls Will Be Destroyed”

3. The “Human Tetris”