There was once a time when I would call myself a Nerd, however, there was also a time when I would eat paste and pretend that I was Cyndi Lauper. Come on, we all know that Cyndi Lauper does not eat paste, but I digress. This rant is stemming from the frustration I have with how being a “Nerd” is now the innest thing ever (innest! God, that’s good). A girl laughs at a silly joke, she says, “I’m such a Nerd!” A girl, yes, this seems to be only a trend with the ladies, likes to read and snorts when she laughs, “Everyone calls me a nerd!” Or how about the girl who collects Beanie babies, is a math mastermind and likes to sew her own socks. Ok, I know what you’re all thinking, “Veronika, that girl HAS to be a Nerd! I was so on your train until now!” Don’t hop too far away, informative readers, I will get you back! What if the same girl has some major boobage? Still a Nerd? Yes, maybe. What if the girl makes a living off of showing them? What if she is completely, socially together? What if she makes a living out of her appearance? What if she is popular and is, therefore, cool? Are you picking up what I’m putting down? A Nerd is not someone who is quirky or likes a joke about kittens and puppies. A Nerd is not some hot chick who just happens to have a brain. Face it, you’re just a smart, hot chick. Awwww, how sad. She’s just smart. Am I saying that a Nerd cannot be hot? God, no. Am I saying that non-Nerds can’t have Nerd qualities? Nope. I’ll now state that I have a thing for Nerds. Brains, (some) social awkwardness, unintentionally marching to their own drum and not being fully aware of what they physically have to offer has always got my brain-a-rockin’. You can have a beautiful face and a body to die for and be a full fledged Nerd. How? You are not aware of your hotness. You do not know how to apply pretty eye shadow and definitely not faux lashes. A Nerd does not have the social confidence, or know all, to strut her cleavage through a group of hungry men. A Nerd wouldn’t understand why men would want to see her hot, naked ass.

Let me help you with a diagram of my hot friend, who, ironically calls herself a Nerd (yeah, she’s going to kill me for using her as an example). Girls, if you answer “yes” to any of these questions then this declaration is for you.

(click image for full size)

So where does this leave the babes left without their desired Nerd status? How about just smart? Or awkward? Maybe a bit silly billy? Listen ladies, there are many words for all of us. Let’s leave Nerd to those that are socially odd with clothes that clearly haven’t seen the pages of Vogue with huge, beautiful brains that have truly earned the title.