“Machete don’t text”
Troublemaker Studios
Back in 2007, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino released their epic double feature, Grindhouse, which included the films Planet Terror and Death Proof. They were both an homage to the Grindhouse films of the 70′s. Included in that double feature were “fake” trailers for films that were also homages to b-movies of the 70′s. Included were: Don’t, Thanksgiving, Werewolf Women of the S.S., and of course, Machete.
Machete features an amazing cast that includes: Danny Trejo, Steven Segal, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Lindsey Lohan, Don Johnson, and Cheech Marin. The film tells the story of an ex-Federale by the name of Machete, who’s family was killed by the evil crime boss, Torrez. Machete, now living in Texas three years later, is now working as a day laborer, until the mysterious Booth offers him a job. Meanwhile, Senator John McLaughlin is running for re-election in that state and his deal is to get all the illegal immigrants out of the country and build an electric fence around the border. He is working with Lt. Stillman, a mercenary, to shoot and kill any illegal that gets in their path. Booth’s job for Machete is to assassinate the senator. Little does Machete know that Booth works for Senator McLaughlin and the plan was to make it look like an illegal shot the senator to gain sympathy and secure a re-election. So Machete goes on a revenge rampage with the help of an immigration officer, a revolutionary taco truck driver, and a priest to take down the senator and all that work for him. Little do they know, as Machete says in a text message, “They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.”
Considering how the Rodriguez’s film Planet Terror was, I was expecting gruesome, gory stuff out of Machete. Instead, it is a lot tamer that I thought it would be. I would even say it’s a very sophisticated film. No where does this film take itself seriously, and that is the big appeal of it. Outrageous stunts, dialogue, and situations with characters that are “in on the joke” make you feel like this is all in good fun. Back when Robert Rodriguez shot the scenes for the fake trailer, he shot more than 30 minutes worth of footage. That footage is retained in the film. So you may notice that goofs are present, but that’s the joke. So when the Lindsey Lohan threesome scene comes, it’s not really her. Sorry for the spoiler. Other reviewers have pointed out that it runs a little too long. I would have to disagree. From when the film begins, you are on a nonstop roller coaster, all the way until the very last frame of the film. The pacing of the film is perfect; never do you get bored of anything. The jokes keep coming, the action doesn’t stop. If I had to nitpick, with a film like this, there are a lot of racial slurs. Sure they’re funny at first, but towards the end of the film, it just gets tiring and repetitive and it loses it’s appeal and comedy.
This is definitely one of the best times I’ve had at the movies this year, and Cheech Marin steals the film. As the tagline says, “He knows the score, he gets the women, and he kills the bad guys. If you’re going to hire Machete to kill the bad guys, you better make damn sure, the bad guy isn’t you!”
Here is the fake Grindhouse trailer that started it all!
Don’t forget the popcorn
Author: Dave
