No.
NO.
“But Briiiitttttt,” whine the fashionistas, “Alexander McQueeeeeeeeeeeen designed these shoes, and he was a fucking geeeeeeenius.”
Really? Fuck you. No, seriously. Fuck. YOU. This design makes me sick to my very core. I understand that true fashion innovation involves breaking rules and pushing limits and being fucking edgy, man…but this shit’s gotta stop.
“It’s arrrrtttt,” they insist. “It’s symbolic of a woman’s inner-struggle against the oppressive technology that weighs her down and the feministical desire to persevere in the face of adversity!!!”
No, you pretentious twat. It’s the invention of a sadist, designed with the perverse desire to see how many dumb bitches he could trick into throwing away thousands of dollars on garbage. Prior to his recent suicide*, McQueen achieved enough success in his career that he could simply slap his signature on a goat hoof and women would snatch it up, just for the sake of donning his coveted label. When you actually hit the streets in these torture devices, anyone possessing common sense will gape, utterly dumbfounded, wondering why any female in her right mind would want to look like a fawn. And the physical side effects?
Thousands, maybe millions of women all over the world ruin their pretty piggies in the name of “fashion.” I don’t agree with this behavior when the shoes are fucking gorgeous, much less when they look like high-heels for horses.
Ladies, I’m begging you: stop being such fucking sheep when it comes to what you put on your body. A woman can look sexy as hell in sweatpants if she has the confidence to pull it off. The world of fashion, while full of eye-candy and genuinely beautiful creations, is also full of shit. Learn how to tell the difference before you leave the house.
*Some speculate that McQueen’s suicide was a result of the heartbreak he suffered following his mother’s death, but I suspect it had more to do with the utter soul-raping he experienced while using Lady Gag-Me as his unofficial muse.
Comments
Good God. I wonder if I could sue that guy if I fell and broke my neck in those things…but it’s not worth trying. I never really “got” fashion anyway. Some things look absolutely hideous to me, and yet the magazine says it’s the latest greatest thing. Things that I think look pretty good end up in the “worst dressed” categories, usually because one stupid accessory was silver instead of platinum…whatever! Though it is really entertaining to see people wearing the hottest new thing, but looking awful in it because they keep looking down all self-conscious!
Any time you sacrifice your health for fashion, you’re screwing yourself. Shoes are the worst offenders. Wear what’s comfortable or you’ll pay later (or sooner).
I fully agree.
Well, maybe McQueen did us women all a favor when he committed suicide last month—no more shoes like that!
(okay, sorry, I know that was a little off-color.)
I hope my toes don’t end up looking like that on account of the soccer cleats I stuff them into.
Ha! I know, I’m probably being an asshole for kicking him when he’s down – er, dead. Very poor taste on my part.
You’ll probably be okay from the cleats. Stuffing mine into equestrian boots for twenty years, however, has made me extra-adverse to suffering via footwear.
anyone who actually thinks fashion is a manifestation of feminist desires, thoughts, or expression is quite misinformed. Read the chapter on fashion in Susan Faludi’s book, “Backlash”, where she reveals how Christian Dior once declared any woman with a waist larger than 24inches (or maybe it was 17?!) to be disgusting.
I’ve always had a deep, deep, love of fashion and the art that it inspires (and can be, in and of itself), but then i started reading… and guess what… IT, and everything it stands for and does, is absolutely WRONG!
xoxoPEACE!
Aside from the comfort issue I have to wonder if anyone really believes these things are attracitve? My theory is that a LOT of Haute Coture is crap that demented individuals dream up durring their psychotic episodes, and then it gets marketed by Evil Corporate Geniuses who have figured out how to bilk the stupid and wealthy of their money by convincing them that owning this shit is a status symbol! But Britt, how could you dis my Lady GaGA? ;-p
I’m puzzled. where does the foot go? how does one walk? it does seem like some kind of psychedelic-induced thing, but it’s giving me nightmares
armadillo shoes!!!
Excellent, Britt! (My god, that’s not your foot is it?)
Men’s shoes–the only way to go. They’re made way better, too.
Okay, not the most fashionable though….