I don’t consider myself to have impossible standards when looking for a potential mate. I value simple things, like honesty, empathy, and generosity. However, there are a few qualities a man must posses for my interest to be held. Lucky for me, I found someone who goes above and beyond my criteria, after much trial and error. Leave your own standards in the comment space and, as our own, Britt Warner, would say, “Dream big, kids!”
Sexual prowess. I’m not a raging sex addict, but I do need a lot of sex… great sex, that is. Fantastic sexual chemistry is one of my top priorities in a relationship. Expressing myself and my passion for another person sexually is important to me. I want to spend hours exploring each other’s body. I want the man I’m with to be comfortable enough to tell – and show – me exactly what he desires. I want to get horny just thinking about having sex with my significant other. I want to have sex five times a day. This isn’t too much to ask, because I’ve found it! Guys and girls, don’t settle for someone who doesn’t satisfy you to the nth degree. If he or she isn’t on your level sexually, you’ll be unhappy and reliant on porn and/or a vibrator. Why would you adapt when you could hold out for mind-blowing, heart-stopping, earth-shattering sex?
Generosity. I’m not a materialistic person, despite what you may think due to my constant blogging about fashion and make-up. I don’t need a boyfriend who buys me expensive gifts and who spoils me. I like being treated to dinner and drinks, but with that, you must let me treat you too! However, the only monetary concern I have in a relationship is poor tipping. My biggest pet peeve – with friends, family, and potential mates – is not leaving gratitude for the service. If we’re on a date and you pick up the tab, I will try and look at the credit card receipt to see if you’ve left twenty percent or more. If not? Seeeee ya later!
Honesty. I don’t care if what you’ve done is the worst crime ever, or the silliest, most insignificant digression. Did you kill someone? Tell me. Do you still talk to your ex? Tell me. Chances are, I probably won’t even be upset, and I’ll be relieved you wanted to be honest with me. However, if I find out six months into our relationship that you’re talking to your ex when you told me a dozen times you were not, then yeah, I’ll be pissed. A lie always reveals itself eventually.
Intellect. I find it impossible to be attracted to a man who isn’t constantly educating himself. Read a book. Go to a museum. Watch a Polanski film. Expand your mind, step outside your shell, and appreciate something other than sports, beer, and sexy ladies. And no, reading the articles in Playboy doesn’t count.
Independence. When looking for a mate, I desire a strong-willed, driven, and confident man. I can’t stand clingy, needy, insecure people. Maintaining one’s sense of self in a relationship is paramount. I don’t want you to like something just because I like it. I don’t want you to give up a hobby to spend more time with me. It’s nice to feel wanted, but please don’t call me all the time with the “I need you, I miss you, I am lost without you” spiel. I want to make you happy, but I don’t want to be sole reason for your happiness.
Cleanliness. One of my biggest “deal breakers” is walking into a messy house or apartment, with a bathroom covered in pubes and unidentified gunk. Guys and girls alike, clean yo’ shit up! No one wants to see your dirty tissues and last week’s dinner strewn all over your apartment. I don’t want to date someone who lives in filth.
Don’t be a douche. If you tell me what to wear, or to “wear something sexy”, you’ve basically just sealed your own coffin. I recently gave my number to a bartender. When he texted me and formally asked me out, he followed up by saying “Make sure you wear something sexy.” I cringed, immediately deleted his number, and ignored subsequent contact. Did he really think I’d show up on our first date wearing mom jeans and an over-sized T-shirt? The audacity to tell a girl he barely knew what to wear was a huge turn-off. Go fuck yourself.
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right on target, definitely not too much to ask!
maybe the bartender had something cool planned like dirty dancing lessons that had a sexy dress code?
hmm had not thought of that. it didn’t seem likely though, we were meeting at a casual bar. either way, the vibe was definitely not good. and i would have worn something sexy regardless!
I could write a list of standards but at the end of the day a man needs to be able to make me feel. To feel happy, loved, desirable and like there is no-one else in this entrie world that he would rather be with than me.
I completely agree on all of these facts. In a recent foray into a pseudo relationship the sex was rather lacking, though many of my friends encouraged me to hold out and hope it gets better, to teach him, I knew that it wasn’t just his lack of technical prowess, it was a matter of us being mismatched. I found myself fantasizing about other men, women, my vibrator, random people on the street and knew it was time to jump ship. I love sex, it’s not a point I’m willing to debate. I’m also an avid 20+ tipper and could never stomach dating a bad tipper, it seems like a small thing, but it says so much about a person. And a messy apartment makes me cringe. My very first boyfriend spoiled me, I walked into his tidy, organized and starkly but none the less decorated apartment and felt adult and comfortable, since then, I simply won’t accept a 30 year old man who lives like a messy frat boy.