Hello ladies and gents. Welcome to Talking Shit 101. Some of you might ask yourself “But Newton Why would I need a lesson on talking shit!? I am amazing at it! teehee.” Well if you were so amazing at it you wouldn’t say “I could care less.” This post might be a mind fuck.

I Could Care Less <<Wrong!

Basically what you are implying is that you have room to care less. Meaning, you still care a tad bit, but there is a possibility you could care less about the situation. So by saying that, you are implying that you care…which is not talking shit, it’s being retarded. If you can care less than why don’t you go ahead and not care at all? You have room to care less, why don’t you care more less? *Total oxymoron*

Now you might be asking yourself “but Sir Newton! What is the correct way of saying it!? Please! Please teach me ways to be awesome!” The correct way to say it is to say “I Couldn’t Care Less.”

I Couldn’t Care Less << Correct!

By saying “I couldn’t care less,” you are implying that there is no room for you to care any less about the situation. Do you understand what I am trying to teach you!? By saying “I couldn’t care less” you are saying that you are “not caring” as much as possible, so there is no way for you to care less, because theres no more “not caring” available.

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I am telling you all this so you don’t sound like an idiot when you want to sass someone, but in reality, you care. If you really don’t care than just say “I don’t fucking care” or the classic “go fuck yourself.” There is always an easier way to be an ass to people. If you want to learn how you either read my posts or John MacGregor‘s. We will teach you the ways of life.

Unskankify your Myspaces! Let’s start a movement!

Author: Newton Hooton