No matter who does the dumping, break-ups suck and provide hours – if not days and months – of despair for one or both parties involved. Regardless of the reasons for the initial break-up, hearts are broken, enemies can be made, tears will be shed, nasty texts are sent, and you might just feel like the break-up will never be over.

However, I can offer advice drawn from a recent personal experience that might make the aftermath of a break-up a little more bearable. Here are some basic dos and donts to surviving a break-up.

Do yourself a huge favor and DON’T take dating advice from an episode of Sex and the City. Charlotte tells Carrie, “It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.” I’m calling shenanigans.

By Charlotte’s rule, I should be moping around miserable for more than one whole year (I recently broke up with a man I dated for over two years). This is just not me. I want to move on quickly and efficiently, not wallow in my regret-tinged memory. That being said, take as little time or as much time as you need to “move on”. Don’t be ashamed if you’re ready to start dating three days after breaking up with your ex. If it was a particularly nasty break-up, and your ex stomped all over your heart after ripping it out, it may take longer to mend that broken organ.

Do delete his number and email out of your contacts, at least immediately after the break-up. Even though you probably have both of those memorized, depending on how long your relationship lasted, it will help eliminate unnecessary longing not to see his name surface every time you want to make a call to someone whose name begins with the same letter. And this brings us to our next…

Don’t go out with your girl friends and get piss drunk, with the hopes that it will ease the pain. HA! You will end up leaving the bar or party in an emotional whirlwind of hysterics after your ex doesn’t call you back or answer any of your drunk texts.

Another scenario: perhaps you get into a nasty text battle and say ridiculously awful, berating things to your poor ex you don’t really mean…or you do mean, you just could have phrased such insults in a more mature manner. Either way, alcohol and break-ups usually don’t usually mix very well, so be careful. If you do need to drink, stay at home with close girl friends and have them take your phone so you can’t contact the ex.

Do compile a play list of fun, empowering, and happy songs. Songs that got me through my break-up? “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry, “Love Stinks” by the J. Geils Band, anything by the Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, the Dropkick Murphys, and Mickey Avalon. I chose light-hearted Rock ‘n Roll to save me from floundering in gloom. Delete songs like “Cry Me a River” and “Bad Romance” from your daily playlist, and please don’t listen to anything Kelly Clarkson (not that you should anyways).

Do go and buy new, sexy lingerie. Even if you’re not ready for anyone to see said sexy underthings, you’ll feel like a sex-pot knowing that under your jeans and tee you’re rocking Agent Provocateur’s latest bra.

Do use the time normally spent with a boyfriend for self-improvement. If you’re out of a relationship, chances are you have a lot more free time. You could spend this time being depressed, or you could head to the library and pick out a new book. Take up a sewing class. Grab a friend and start a new fitness routine. Learn a language. Travel. By the time you’re ready to start dating again, you will be a more well-rounded, confident individual, and perhaps attract a better mate.

Don’t be afraid to jump back into the field. Remember, you and your ex broke up for a reason! This means that there is a man out there better suited for you. When you’re ready, have fun and revel in your new-found singleness. This may sound corny, and I may sound like your mom, but these two sayings really are the most important to keep in mind: The world is your oyster. And there are plenty of fish in the sea!

*photos courtesy of google image search

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