Hello everyone!!!

How the hell are you? I don’t really care but I thought it nice to ask. So I always feel bad leaving the gas station, mostly because my gas guzzling car just raped my bank account again, but also because of what I’ve come to call the “creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof pump” (C/MUP). And by that I mean he is the outcast. You see, my cybersexual buddies, I’ve been going to the gas station for years now, as I’m sure you all have, and I’ve always seen the C/MUP, just sitting there all lonely and shit. I think you all know who I’m talking about…..it’s 89 Octane. It serves no purpose!!!! I mean either you go to the gas station and say to yourself, ” I’m going to treat myself real nice today and get that 92 shit all up in it (ok if you were ghetto you might say it like that)”, or you say, “yo son, gas be motherfucking expensive, fuck the Bush administration, they tell me that the Iraq war is going to bring me some oil and shit….I’m going to get this jacked up 87 ( again if you were an angry ghetto person that’s what it would sound like).” However, you never hear anyone ever say, “you know what, I feel like treating myself and my car today but I don’t want to spoil myself so I’m going to get this 89 shit right here”. No one ever says that shit. In fact, I have never ever seen anyone at the gas station use the 89. It’s like the “creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof ” at a party. Everyone sees him there, but no one wants to really talk to his ass. Everyone is either crowded around the really cool uncle who does magic, or they are gladly wiping the drool off their grandma’s chin just to avoid “creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof ” . I mean sometimes I just feel bad. It looks so lonely.

I wonder if there is any actual gas in that pump. Maybe it’s like a psychological test or something. Or maybe the dick heads who run the gas companies just wanted to confuse us. So this past week I started using 89 and I’m going to be honest….”creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof pump,” I mean my car just isn’t the same, people. It seems different….I’m sorry Bruno-Yes, I name my car…it gives it personality….don’t judge me- I’m sorry for doing this to you. I swear, I think I can hear it crying at night…ok, maybe I don’t. Damn you “creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof pump” …damn you.

So take it from JohnnyD: if you want to have your car cry at night in the garage then go and pump some “creepy/molesting uncle who molested some kids but no one has proof ” gas.