If you think I’m talking about the singer, Michael Bolton, think again because the Michael Bolton I’m referring to is the Office Space Michael Bolton.

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm… well, why don’t you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

Remember this Office Space conversation?

I’ve applied Michael Bolton’s name philosophy to my dating perspective. I’ve been told I can be too nice, that there are times when things are black and white, and all I seem to see is gray. Some advice I’ve received about this is to be more wary of guys, don’t trust too much, let guys do the chasing, don’t respond with nice ties until you are a couple, assume men do not want to be monogamous, quit giving second chances, and the list goes on.

I might as well become a nun, and call it a day.

Weird I know, but I actually like being nice. Trust me, it’s not all day every day, Pollyanna syrupy sickness; a girl has her moments. But for the most part I am a nice, cheerful person. I will go out of my way to help you. I will see all sides of a situation. I forgive and move on. It’s not because I’m a pushover or overly eager to please, it’s simply because being mean and guarded isn’t really how I want to live my life. Maybe it leads to me getting hurt more than the average single gal, but at least I know I’m being me.

I’ve tried to change. I’ve taken the black and white approach. I’ve played the game. I’ve been alert and suspicious and called bullshit left and right and all it did was lead to misery. Mostly, because all the negativity wasn’t making me any happier than when someone I trusted disappointed me. I was uncomfortable trying to be a different person.

Everyone has their own tolerance level for when people do crap things and maybe my tolerance is just a bit higher. Who cares? It hasn’t stopped me from getting anything I want. It hasn’t made me turn bitter towards men. For everyone douche bag out there, there are ten other people who make me feel amazing.

It’s not my fault some ass clowns don’t know how to act; that’s their problem. Just like Michael Bolton, why should I change something I like about myself, just because someone else sucks?

• Kiss & Tell