You know those nights when your whole world seems to be falling apart? Yeah, I have ‘em once in a while…which is why I keep a Naughty Box.
Green in color, the Naughty Box sits on my nightstand and contains various supplies necessary for extreme emergencies. It’s an especially difficult year for me; therefore, I’ve learned to give myself a fucking break when it comes to vices, or as I like to call them, “Brief Allowances”. Remember that scene in ‘Sin City’ where Clive Owen’s character is driving fast and freaking out and imagines the dead body in the passenger seat is talking to him?
“When the chips are down, once a smoker, always a smoker.” Or something like that. And it’s true. I find the Emergency Cigarette to be a godsend in moments of despair. Likewise, I rarely feel like eating chocolate, but on the occasion that I suddenly crave the stuff, those Easter basket leftovers are very much appreciated. My Naughty Box contains both of these Brief Allowances in small amounts, gazing at me like knowing friends when I lift the lid. Perhaps I’ll add in a mini bottle of Southern Comfort, though I’ve never been one to turn to alcohol during hard times…nor very often in good times, for that matter, but it would be nice to have one in there just for the hell of it.
That’s the great thing about a Naughty Box: you can throw in whatever you like, shut the lid, and feel better merely knowing that it exists. I’m not here to enable you or condone shooting up heroin, but I’m not here to judge, either (even though I DO like to make fun of certain aspects of society in a rather judgmental way – I know). Life can be a bitch sometimes, and once in a grrrrrreat while, it’s nice to just go, “Fuck it.”
So…what’s in yours?
Author: Britt Warner
Comments
I don’t have a naughty box but I am going to invest in one now!
O YAAAAA!!! Cadbury egg front and center!!!! Unfortunatly I don’t have a naughty box anymore, I have kids. If it is something that they arn’t suppose to find, they will. But I do have a naughty mind…hehehe.
Prior naughty box, hhmmm let’s see. Godiva dark chocolate bar, some sex lube, pack of India clove cigarettes, small bottle of Southern Comfort the black label. Taste better and it’s 100 proof to boot! $50.00 emergency stash, and last but not least some small vanilla candles in cobalt blue glass holders.
Reeses Peanutbutter Cups, A couple of coupons for a free Godfathers Pizza, a handful of $20 Tokens from a local Casino, and a really primo joint! Only it’s not a box, it’s the top drawer of my desk.
cigarette, sour apple blow pops, and expensive foreign fashion ‘zines. and vodka.
definitely cigarettes and chocolate haha
ciggs, concert tickets (or else id lose them), mysterious accumulated pills, chillum, gum, & always red wine (in the mini fridge- the bigger naughty box.)