I’m tired of getting a negative reaction when people discover I’m a Scorpio. It’s almost predictable: wide eyes and accusations that I must be some sort of crazy, heart-breaking, promiscuous nympho. Yes, there are some who fit that description pretty damn perfectly and therefore have given the rest of us a bad name. Let me set the record straight.
Much like the animal, we scorpions are solitary, independent creatures who avoid drama and seek safe havens in which to hide. We’re non-confrontational by nature, but if you fuck with us one time too many, don’t act so shocked when we have the audacity to utilize our nifty stingers in self-defense.
If we’ve broken your heart, forgive us - I assure you it was unintentional. Scorpios, however, would rather be single and lonely than stay in a dead-end relationship, and we refuse to settle for anything less than our ultimate ideal. Be grateful that we freed you up to do the same for yourself.
As for being slutty? Huge misconception. Sure, some of us have gone through phases where we made out with pretty much anyone who struck our fancy, but that’s because we intuitively know that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss and…alright, let’s face it, making out is pretty much the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Unless we’re interested in dating you, though (or BECAUSE we’re interested in dating you), that’s where we draw the line.
Yes, Scorpios are unabashedly sexual beings, but we’d rather stay celibate for weeks, months, and years than share genitals with someone we’re not bowled over by. And when we find that person? Monogamy’s the name of the game. We prefer one – count ‘em, ONE – equally loyal, devoted mate to unleash a plethora of freakishly pleasurable rewards upon.
Crazy, heart-breaking sluts? False. Sexual freaks? Abso-fuckin-lutely…you know…if you actually BELIEVE in all that astrology mumbo-jumbo.
So the next time you’re introduced to a Scorpio, run away, ya pussy…OR…sac up, smile slyly, and simply say, “Nice to meet you, Scorpio. The pleasure’s all mine.”
If you’re lucky, it will be.
Author: Britt Warner
Comments
I've always noticed two different kinds of Scorpios. There are the ones who are controlling, dramatic, and just insane…oh yeah, and obsessed with sex. However, I've also noticed the ones that are calm, rational, (handy with a wrench too!) and as much as they think about sex, they also ponder death. This constant reminder of their own mortality leaves them with more of a "life's too short for this petty BS" attitude. I've also noticed that water signs are the best composers (going with the flow…finding that rhythm) and so it's no surprise to me that you're a lyricist!
I have a friend who once dated, indeed almost married, a crazy Scorpio bitch, and I must say, once she left and was replaced by a new Scorpio, I was a little skeptical. However, this new girl and I hit it off nicely once I realized that her favorite band was Led Zeppelin, and she worked as a plumber/electrician. She was just about the polar opposite of the previous chick, but with enough of the same qualities to see why my friend was drawn to that 'type'.
It just goes to show that you can't neatly compartmentalize every human being on earth into twelve groups, no matter how much fun it is!
LOL. Some of it is right. My husband is Scorpio. He's BAD. He treats you the way he FEELS that you're treating him-May not always be the case. He does what he wants no matter what anyone else thinks or feels, but maybe that's just a man thing…? He gets even if he feels he's wronged.-although misunderstanding a lot of what REALLY happened. He jumps to conclusions. He THINKS that no one "knows" him. (he wishes LOL) He is very private. He hates confrontation-as do I, but I will do it if I have to. He really hates it more than I do, though. I'm quicker to confront when necessary. He's kind and generous. Has a big heart. He does everything for his friends and family. So, that pretty much sums him up. Haha
Good call on the death fixation. I've been incredibly aware of my mortality since…well…birth, and, as you pointed out so astutely, I don't waste a second of my life on the petty stuff as a result. Also interesting: my first job was as a plumber's assistant, and my very FAVORITE job was as a handyman…er….woman.
Ah…if only life WAS as simple as being able to compartmentalize people into neat little groups. "Don't judge a book by its cover" is always a good standby.
Yeah…males and females seem to differ slightly within the zodiac signs. Never underestimate the extreme sensitivity of water signs, I guess?!
negative reactions for scorpios exist because the immature scorpion tends to do the maximum amount of emotional damage. the unbelievable hypocrisy and arrogance of this type is something you have to experience to understand. once dated a scorpio who got drunk and bragged about snitching on people for doing what she did herself on a daily basis. what was truly incredible is that to this day she has the audacity to act as if she made no mistake whatsoever. so yeah its easy to understand how the hate button gets pushed lol but everything is a learning experience
"negative reactions for scorpios exist because the immature scorpion tends to do the maximum amount of emotional damage."
Just like how baby scorpions don't have control over how much poison they release, thereby releasing it all at once and being the most deadly. A very good point, indeed!
Luckily, we get better with age. : )
when scorpios feel betrayed, we can be nasty…ive had my experience with friends of this nature. Being a scorpio myself, i find its important to note that typically our nature can and is divided in two: the scorpion and the eagle….we can either be backed into a corner or we can soar above others, depending on ones individual potential.
besides the passion & creativity part, I dont have much in common with scorpios, which makes me wonder if i really belong to the "13th" sign of the zodiac…the serpent bearer, which falls in between scorpio and sagittarius.
good post britt!
ok im a scorpio and im not obsessed with sex.
im not obsessed with sex and im a scorpio
wow, I thawt I was da only person who felt like the perception most ppl hav for us scorps was far-fetched.. we arent whores, im actually a very choosy lover..