My brother Trav used to watch “Melrose Place” with me back in the day. No, he’s not gay, he’s just a night soap kind of guy. Anyway, in an effort to stay “hip”, they got rid of the cheesy theme song and began playing hot new singles during the opening credits. It was during this time that we first heard Marcy Playground’s “Sex and Candy”. We were blown away. It was instantaneously addictive and yet, it would be at least another month before the song began to get radio airplay. “MP” was more cutting edge than anyone gave it credit for.
Although Trav and I agreed that “Sex and Candy” was an immensely satisfying tune, there was one aspect of it that we just couldn’t see eye to eye about: the lyrics.
“Who’s that casting deep vee-er stares in my direction,” I insisted.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” he scoffed. “It’s ‘DEEP FLEET OF STAIRS‘. Who’s that casting DEEP FLEET OF STAIRS in my direction.”
Our brother Josh schooled both of our asses when he revealed an answer that seemed much more plausible: “Who’s that casting DEVIOUS STARES in my direction.” Dee-vee-us. Ohhh…
Another one that took me forever to decode was “Blinded By The Light” from Manfred Mann’s Earth Band.
“Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche and then I rode ‘er in the night.“
That couldn’t possibly be right. What the fuck was that guy REALLY saying?
“Blinded by the light. Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.”
And my most embarrassing admission?
“Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go…I wanna piece of iiiitttt.”
If you listen to the Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Sedated”, I think you’ll be able to understand how easy it was to make that mistake.
But seriously? Why the hell can’t singers enunciate properly? The person guiltiest of this crime would have to be Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder. Pick a song, any song of theirs, and I guarantee we all have the lyrics wrong in our confused little heads.
In an effort to achieve some clarity, I googled “misunderstood song lyrics” and found this little gem of a website: www.kissthisguy.com. The site is named such because its founder mistook Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” lyrics, “‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky“ for something of the bi-curious nature. It was nice to see that I wasn’t the only one making such ridiculous auditory mistakes.
Among the hilarious misunderstandings:
OR..."Hold me closer, tiny dancer," which are the correct words in Elton John's famous song.
Misheard: “Don’t be cruel…to a heartless Jew.”
Actual lyrics: “Don’t be cruel…to a heart that’s true.”
(Elvis Presley - Don’t Be Cruel)
Misheard: “All you did was wet my bed.”
Actual lyrics: “All you did was wreck my bed.”
(Rod Stewart - Maggie May)
Misheard: “Don’t let the glaze go dry…Krispy Kreme.”
Actual lyrics: “Don’t let the days go by…Glycerine.”
(Bush – Glycerine)
Misheard: “Let’s pee in the corner. Let’s pee in the spotlight...”
Actual lyrics: “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight...”
(R.E.M. – Losing My Religion)
Misheard: “What is love? Blame it on herpes…“
Actual lyrics: “What is love? Baby don’t hurt me...”
(Haddaway – What Is Love?)
Misheard: “Ginger wars, ginger lies, ginger dragon’s fire, and a baked apple pie…YEAH!“
Actual lyrics: “Dreams of wars, dreams of lies, dreams of dragon’s fire, and of things that will bite…YEAH!”
(Metallica – Enter Sandman)
And the list goes on and on. Feel free to add your own as comments, and remember: When in doubt, Google.
Author: Britt Warner
