On this lovely evening I would like to share with you all that I believe I am completely giving up on having a man as my doctor. Do I think it’s wrong to think this? Sorta. Do I think it’s even more wrong to type this in a public forum? Sure. Nonetheless, it’s how I feel. Since I’ve been able to choose my own doctor I have always chosen females. I’m sure the doctor who asked to look at the outside of my vagina during a basic physical “to make sure it all looked normal” when I was in 7th grade helped contribute to my attitude. Just for the record, I cried like a baby and told my mom that I was not showing my goods to Mr. Perv Doc. I consider myself a girls’ girl. I have had many guy friends but the girls easily outweigh the guys (just so my friends won’t hurt me I have to clarify that I do not mean in pounds but substance and quantity). I have all the same femmie parts as chicks (at least most chicks), therefore we deal with the same femmie issues. I.E. my vagina is rainbow color. Girl, “Uh oh. No good.” Guy, “Wow, that’s super cool!” Yeah, that was highly sexist of me but it was hopefully a little funny and it should help that I actually didn’t mean it. What I’m getting at here is that I don’t think it’s unusual for a girl to want to have another girl talking to her about private issues about her body. And I really don’t think it’s unusual to want a female touching your body in very private areas (funny, I almost changed this to not sound so porno but it’s got to stay!) Am I being neurotic about this? This certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been accused.

I’ve been having a female issue for a few years now. I know there is an issue and have been to a few different docs about it. My doc referred me to another doc and I had my appointment today. I showed up and was told, “Sorry, the doctor is running very late; he had an emergency.” Errrr! I was super frustrated that I left work early and now the doctor isn’t even on time? Frustrating! So I go and sit and fill out my paperwork. I was half down with my paperwork when it hit me: she said, “HE had an emergency.” *GULP* I think, ok, Veronika, don’t flip, yet. I got up and asked the woman if the doctor was a “male” or “female.” She clarified that the doc was a he. I panicked. Should I leave? Is this a sign that I should just go back to work or home? Or was this just a sign that I was stupid for not telling my doc that I only wanted to be referred to female docs? I was told that they only accept cash,; while I was on my way to my bank I contemplated not going back. I almost didn’t. But I did.

Thank you, baby Jesus! My new doc was an old, Asian guy with a friendly demeanor. Veronika, you can totally do this! Take off those undies and let him do his thing! No prob. Not to burst the positive direction: this chitty chatty was going in, but it blew. My old, Asian man was pleasant, yet with fingers that felt like they were reaching for my hips (my vagina is quite magical but you can not reach my hips through my vagina). Keep in mind that I was already in pain and Asian doc knew this. Long story short, Asian doc said, with a sweet smile, that maybe everything was in my head and that I was trying to get out of having sex with the hubby. You know, most newlyweds hate to bone!

Women, are male docs lame ducks? I’m guessing they are not, however, I feel if just having female docs can help me never to have this type of experience ever again it is well worth it. I’m sure this goes both ways; men, don’t you want a man who knows what it’s like to live in a man’s body? You know, raging stiffy and all? Mmmm…raging stiffy.